Finding Patience Read online

I pour some lotion into my hands and rub them together to warm it up a little. The second my hands touch the skin of her back, that creamy skin I wanted before, is looking better with my hands all over it. I begin to rub the lotion into her back a little more, giving her a massage. She moans in the back of her throat making me give a little bit more than I just did.

  By the time I get to the slope of the small of her back, I’m all but panting over her. Patience Monroe is a fucking goddess. I massage the lotion into her tailbone and she moans again, but this time louder.

  Knowing that it’s time to stop before I get myself into trouble, I finish the last bit of lotion in my hand by rubbing it into her and backing away like she burned me. Patience might as well have burned me. Tempting me as if she knows how forbidden she is.

  An angel that has been sent here to tempt me with the forbidden. An angel that has been sent here to show me all the good that can come from this world and everything that I can’t have.

  “You, uh, you should be good,” I stutter out like a dumb ass.

  Without waiting for her response, I’m heading back to the side of the pool to finish the weeding. I can’t trust myself with being alone with her. She’s too innocent. Too angelic. Too everything that’s out of my league.

  Get her out of your head, dude. She’s not for you and you know that. She’s everything in this world that you’re not. Stop tempting yourself with her!

  She giggles a little and untucks her face to look at me with those pouty lips. Fuck! Does she not realize what she’s doing to me? “Are you sure? Did you get my upper thighs? Sometimes I get burned there…”

  “Patience!”

  Both of our heads snap up to see her father, my boss, staring at us with a scowl on his face. Mr. Monroe is the type of father who would kill someone for derailing his daughter off their plan they have set up for her. Needless to say, that would be me.

  Patience sits up in her lounge chair and glares at her father. I can’t help it, but it makes me feel good that she’s upset with the interruption. “What, daddy?”

  “Time to come inside for your lessons.”

  Patience gets off the chair but saunters over to me with a sway of her hips that makes me hungry. “Give me your phone,” she says to me.

  I couldn’t pull my phone out fast enough to give her it. I unlock it and hand it over. There’s a little melody playing on the chair and I realize that she called herself from my phone. She hands it back to me with a smile. “Thanks, Brett. You know, for the lotion,” Patience exclaims with a wink.

  I want to tie her to my fucking bed, fuck the shit out of her and keep her there forever.

  PATIENCE

  Have you ever wondered if everything that you have been groomed for your whole life is worth it? Since the day I came into this world, my life has been planned to the very second. Hell, my sleep schedule is even planned.

  My father is the CEO of a major cable company and he loves to flaunt it. After my mother retired from her job of being an administrative secretary, she now stays home to keep the house together and make sure that I follow that plan.

  I stomp past my father on the way into the house from the pool. How dare he embarrass me in front of Brett? Brett probably thinks I’m just a little kid or something and he won’t take me seriously. This sucks.

  I have been drooling over Brett this whole time and I can’t help myself. He’s so gorgeous with his thick blond hair that falls to the side of his head and that smile on his face. The smile that promises you he’s up to no good. I can’t help it! He’s got muscles on top of his other muscles! It’s too much. It’s too much hotness in one man.

  As he rubbed the lotion over my back, all of my senses were on overload! His strong fingers that massaged the muscles of my back… Damn! I couldn’t help myself but let out a couple of moans. The man has to know that I am practically in love with him. Every time he’s here, I try to show him how much I like him. I do my makeup and hair… Put on sexy clothes. Anything to get him to look at me.

  “Stop flirting with the help, Patience. You aren’t going to get anywhere in this life by being a bottom feeder,” my dad warns me.

  I shrug him off and stomp to my room. The house that I grew up in is a Tudor styled mansion, tucked away from the busy city. Everything in the house is perfectly matched with the color scheme and there’s never one thing out of place. My father pays a lot of money to make sure of that.

  By the time I get to my room, I throw myself on my bed. Why does Brett have to be so hot? Does he even like me? I don’t know if he even notices me… He’s totally out of my league.

  Stupidly, I turn on my phone to see if he’s texted me. I know he probably hasn’t but maybe he did!

  Nothing.

  I roll off the bed and get into my dress that’s lying on the edge of it to get ready for my singing lessons.

  I’m a child prodigy who has been groomed to be a professional singer my whole life. But, wait, there’s more! I also can dance, play the piano and the violin. My parents love showing me off to their friends to show them how talented I am.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love that I’m talented in these things, but I am missing out on the teenager experience. I’ve never been on a date and I’m seventeen. I’ve never even kissed a guy before! I’m a freak of nature.

  After my singing lessons, I pull out my phone and take matters into my own hands.

  ME: Hi

  BRETT: Hi

  ME: Are you doing anything tonight?

  He doesn’t respond back to me and I start to get worried. Maybe Brett doesn’t like me and it’s all in my head. It probably is. He more than likely thinks that I’m some kid who has a crush on the bad boy.

  “Patience, it’s dinner time!” My mother calls up the stairs to me.

  Dinner with my parents is always the same thing. My mother telling us about her tennis lesson and my father talking about his job. Oh, and they also talk about me.

  “We set up an audition for you tomorrow,” my mom tells me.

  Perfectly manicured, she doesn’t have a hair out of place and her makeup is perfect. The woman would make a model jealous with her fit body and impeccable wardrobe. My mom is completely flawless.

  I look like a dumpy version of her. My face is still full of pimples, I just got rid of the stubborn baby fat that was on my stomach, and my boobs are finally starting to come in. No wonder Brett ’s not texting me back. He probably has women.

  Do I have fat rolls? I do, I know I do. That’s why he hasn’t texted me back. I know I shouldn’t have had that brownie a week ago. If I wouldn’t have had the brownie, then maybe he would have texted me.

  Smiling at her, I spear a piece of lettuce with my fork before bringing it to my mouth. “Okay,” I respond. I chew on the edge of the lettuce to appease my parents but it’s not enough for them to get off my ass about singing.

  They have constantly been telling me that fatties don’t make it big in the professional industries because people don’t want to look at them.

  I look down at my stomach that’s hidden by my bulky shirt. With the added fabric covering my stomach, I can still sense that I have fat hanging over my pants. Shit.

  Putting my fork down, I poke at my stomach trying to see if it still jiggles. My finger hits the muscle in my stomach but I still feel the flub surrounding my finger.

  Gross. I poke at it some more and it still does it. I press down seeing if it will jiggle that way, and it still does. Great! I’m just a big fatty.

  “It’s at the Opera Hall around the corner,” my dad says to me as if I wasn’t already aware of this.

  Again, I just smile and nod. I love to audition for roles but it’s hard to break into the music business as a classical singer. I’ve already starred in three Broadway musicals and I did extremely well in them. Unfortunately, they didn’t open any doors for me.

  “I don’t want you talking to the landscaper.”

  My head jerks up to look at my father who’s glaring at me over h
is wine glass. “Daddy, I’m allowed to have friends. You can’t cut me off from everyone!”

  It’s bad enough that they pulled me from the public schools here so I could focus on the arts more. I have no social life. I have one friend who is only allowed to come over but I can’t go over to her house because it could “derail my upbringing.”

  Marissa is my bubbly and over the top friend who is boy crazy and loves to flirt with guys. I kid you not, every time I see her, she’s talking about another guy that she’s crushing on.

  My mother pats my hand to soothe me or something but I know that she doesn’t want me talking to him either. “Let’s talk about your audition.”

  During my run that night, my body is still buzzing from being around Brett. I would have thought getting hot and sweaty from running would have tired me out some so I wouldn’t still be obsessing over Brett. It did the opposite. All I can think about is getting hot and sweaty with him. Have him be the man that takes my virginity. He would be an excellent choice.

  I know I should be focusing on my audition, but I can’t do it. Brett’s gorgeous body is playing like a reel of film in my mind’s eye. The way he touched me with his strong fingers. I don’t know what it is about him, but all I can see are his eyes.

  I hear his voice in the back of my mind calling to me. Telling me that he likes me as much as I like him. Telling me that he’s in love with me.

  Running harder, I adjust my sweatshirt so the hood’s up over my head to sweat more. You won’t be getting any roles if you’re fat.

  BRETT

  Even when I’m sleeping, Patience invades my sleep and I think of her. I think of what it would be like to wrap my arms around her and hold her while we sleep. It’s not even about sex, I feel like we have something…

  But she’s so fucking young.

  “Brett,” my drunken mother calls out to me while standing in the doorway of my small apartment.

  I roll my eyes. “What?” I moved out, I don’t understand why my parents think it’s okay for them to come in and out of my place like its theirs or something.

  She stumbles past the door jamb to stand in front of me. The woman looks pathetic. Her greasy hair that is gray and the pock marks on her face make her look horrible. My mother was never a real gem, by any means, but she did try to hide her drugs and alcohol from me. Once I caught her shooting up heroin in the bathroom, she stopped hiding it from me.

  The 5’2 woman in front of me looks like she’s closer to death than being alive. And she looks old.

  “I’m leavin’ your dad and I need your help,” she informs me.

  This isn’t the first time that she has said these words and it’s not going to be the last time. The woman will never leave my father because he provides her with all the substances that she wants.

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah, right.”

  “I mean it!” She begs.

  I roll out of my bed and stride over to her. “How much money do you need?” In the end, it all comes down to money. Every little thing that she needs comes down to money.

  My mother smirks like she won something but I’m not giving her anything. I’m tired of them drinking and doing drugs then taking it out on me. I’m supposed to be the kid, not the adult that’s cleaning up their shit around the house. Literal shit.

  “Just a few grand. That’s all I need.”

  “Get out of my house.”

  I’m not surprised when she doesn’t move. Hell, I would have been more surprised if she actually left. This is just a game to her and my dad to extort me of my money.

  When I lived in their house, my money was constantly coming up missing. Even when I would hide it, they would go through my shit and find it. They have stolen everything that I made working as a landscaper under the table with the local MC, Lucifer’s Lair. I got smart and moved out. Once I left, she has been threatening to leave my dad at least five times.

  I’m not dealing with it anymore.

  Her lower lip starts to shake and I swear she should win an Oscar. “But, Brett, what am I supposed to do?”

  “Mom, get out of my house and don’t come back here. I don’t have that type of money.”

  The fake hurt that she had on her face is replaced by anger. Her cheeks turn red and her bloodshot eyes glare at me. “You’re nothing but a piece of fucking shit. I should have aborted you when I had the chance. I wanted to but your dad thought we should keep you.”

  These words don’t even sting anymore. I have gotten used to them when she’s wanting to lash out at me. It’s normal.

  I shrug and walk towards my door. “Get out.”

  “You’ll be sorry, you fucking useless, piece of shit!”

  My mother storms out of my apartment, slamming the door on her way out. I take a deep breath and walk back to my bed. My apartment is small but it’s mine. It’s mine. Everything in here is crappy and shitty but it’s all mine.

  There’s a knock on the door while I pull up my basketball shorts to get ready for physical training for the Army. It’s only a matter of time before they call me up and tell me it’s time to ship out to active duty.

  I swing open the door without checking the peep hole to see who it is.

  “What are you doing here?” I blurt out.

  Patience looks around my apartment and then at me with questioning eyes. “I’ve never seen your place before.”

  There’s a reason for that, baby. There’s a reason why I’ve never invited you over to my place.

  PATIENCE

  “What will you be singing for us today, Miss Monroe?” The lead producer and director, Abby Andrews, asks me.

  I take a deep breath before letting her know my answer. I normally sing different songs each time I have an audition but my favorite song to sing is Unchained Melody.

  “Unchained Melody and I will be playing the piano as well,” I answer.

  My parents are sitting in the audience and are filming my audition. No pressure, right?

  After I’m finished with the song, I stand up off the bench and bow. Everyone in the room begins to clap loudly for me. I smile and wave. “Thank you for having me.”

  Abby’s perfectly arched eyebrow is raised while she delivers praise to me. “Patience, every time you come in, it’s like you are a whole new person! This was a perfect song choice. We would like to call you back for second rounds tomorrow.”

  Inside, I’m jumping up and down. Outside, I’m trying to keep it cool and calm as much as possible. “Thank you!”

  I run off the stage and my parents meet me with big smiles on their faces. “You did beautifully, sweetie,” my dad says.

  “Yes,” my mom confirms. “You did great! Let’s celebrate by going to the country club.”

  They don’t let me answer. They never do.

  I will tell you how I want to celebrate. I want to see if Brett feels the same way about me.

  The next day, I show up to do my second round of audition. This time, I pick a different piece that shows my vocal range and I sing it out of the park. I’m beaming inside through my tingly eyes and nose. I sing Dolly Parton’s version of I Will Always Love You. The country version fits my range better than the equally amazing version of Whitney Houston.

  This could be my big break. Everything that I’ve been waiting for and have been training for could actually happen. I just have to get them to allow me to dazzle them with my amazingness.

  MARISSA: how is that hot landscaper?

  ME: so hot! I had him rub lotion on my back

  MARISSA: did he get naked?

  ME: no… you know I couldn’t ask him to do that

  MARISSA: I think he likes you.

  ME: how the hell am I supposed to find out?

  MARISSA: get creative. Didn’t you say you knew where he lived?

  ME: well, yeah

  MARISSA: go over there and see if he will… you know

  ME: but I don’t know how to do this

  MARISSA: if he likes you, he will make the moves and you j
ust enjoy it

  ME: what if he turns me down

  MARISSA: what if he doesn’t

  ME: you’re so bad

  MARISSA: no, I’m not. I know you like this dude and he’s hot

  ME: are you sure about this

  MARISSA: go over to his place and wear something sexy

  ME: and then…

  MARISSA: see what happens

  I throw my phone down on the bed along with myself in despair. How the fuck am I supposed to go over to Brett ’s house and seduce him? I have no idea how to do any of this.

  Quickly, I snatch up my phone and type How To Seduce A Man in Google. Why am I not surprised that there are so many articles?

  Some of the ideas are just plan insane. How am I supposed to find a trench coat and a limo at the age of seventeen? No limo driver is going to let me rent him out to seduce my landscaper. No matter how hot he is.

  Do I even have anything sexy?

  I look down at my shorts and tee that I’ve been wearing since my audition this morning. The producers said it could take a couple of days before they know their answer as to who they are going to bring on the show.

  I drive over there, and even though I am a huge pile of nerves, I still knock on his front door and wait. Wait for something… anything to happen.

  I’m ready for whatever he has to give me.

  But please, please, don’t turn me down. I couldn’t handle it.

  BRETT

  She’s in my place. Holy fucking shit! Patience is in my place and looking hotter than ever.

  My hands itch to touch her, bring her inside my place to shield her from everything. But I don’t. I fight my every instinct to hold onto her and tell her how much I’ve been thinking of her.

  Instead, I shield her from entering my apartment. “What are you doing here?” I ask her when I really want to drag her into my place and keep her.

  There’s something refreshing about her… Almost like I’ve been waiting for her for a long time and now that she’s here, I don’t want to let her go.

  “I, uh,” she stutters. “All right, so I’m going to just come out and say it,” she states.

  Inwardly, I’m chuckling at her frustration. It’s so cute to see her struggling to say what she’s wanting to say. Plus, she’s gorgeous with her pouty lips twisted into a shy smile and her dimples winking at me. The woman looks like a baby doll.