Love Me (The Lucky Family Book 3) Read online

  She nods and I help her pack up the rest of her stuff. We do this in silence and I’m okay with that. The quicker we can get out of here the better.

  ***One Year Later***

  For a solid year, Vincent and I have been trying to get pregnant. For a solid year, our relationship has turned from passionate to mechanical. I knew it tore Vincent apart every time I took another pregnancy test and go to the doctor to make sure the test was right.

  I hoped and prayed for a false negative.

  Today, we are sitting in the room at the doctor's office because I haven't had my period yet. I rubbed my belly absentmindedly hoping the rubbing motion would produce a baby.

  Vincent deserved to be a daddy.

  My doctor came in looking like a beacon of disparity as he sat down across from me and my husband rubbed his hand down my back. We already knew what the results would conclude and like the emotional cutter that I have become, I sit and wait.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Moretti- I’m so sorry… it looks as if there is something inconclusive with the results of your last tests. I’m sorry but it looks as if…”

  I zoned out and stopped listening to what he said. It’s obvious that whatever he is about to say, I won’t want to hear. I don’t mean to be mean, but no woman wants to hear infertile.

  There is no baby in my stomach.

  There is no baby that will be coming from my womb.

  I won’t be a mother biologically and Joel was the one that took that from me. I don’t care if it’s not realistic, but this is all Joel’s fault that Vincent and I have to suffer.

  Vincent

  I watch my wife as she hears the news that she has been avoiding for this whole year. Of course I’m angry that she won’t be able to produce an heir for me, however, I would like my wife back.

  We have been injecting hormones into her ass every night to help get her pregnant and it’s been making her crazy. Sometimes she will sit in a corner crying for some reason or another. One time, I found her holding Cherub and she was crying into his fur.

  I’ve never felt so useless before in my whole life. This is something that I can’t give him because I’m Pop. No, this is something that Mother Nature is denying us and it’s killing Savannah. Since it’s killing her, I’m dying the most excruciating death known to man.

  Ever since we have started to try to have a baby, I have noticed that her mind is so wrapped up in the idea of having a baby that she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every time we had sex, it had to be just right and she took her temp. It became a job.

  Sex is supposed to be fun and I couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t like that anymore.

  I held her hand as we walked out of the doctor’s office. She looked pale and I couldn’t help but wonder if it is something that I have done. Is my sperm not strong enough? I would like to say that it isn’t right.

  We walked to our new car, a Bentley that she picked out, and she sat in the front seat. Savannah had her sunglasses over her eyes and I could hear her breath rising and falling. I knew that she is crying and I felt like the most terrible fucking husband. There is nothing that I can do to help.

  “Baby doll, don’t worry. We will find a way.” I squeezed her hand and she winced. I drove in silence and she didn’t say anything either.

  When we got home, she immediately grabbed Cherub and walked upstairs to our room. I followed behind her to make sure she wasn’t about to do something dumb and I found her laying on the bed. She was tucked in a ball around him and crying softly.

  I quickly stripped out of my clothing and climbed in behind her to hold her. There were no words to say and I don’t think even if I had them, they would do any good. The damage was done and there was no saving it.

  Savannah

  I awoke in the morning basked in the heat of my husband. I knew he was as upset as I am but there was nothing to be said. He held me tightly as if his touch could erase the pain of my never being able to carry a child for him full term. The baby I was supposed to have with Joel ruined everything.

  Like the poison of Joel is still cursing through my body, I knew that I would never get rid of him. I don’t care what the doctor said, the reason why my body can’t have a baby is because of Joel. Too bad he’s dead or I would fucking kill him.

  Quietly, I reach out for my phone and dial up Johnny. I know for a fact that he can help me get what I need and it’s a good thing that I do because I need sleep. It’s been over a week since Vincent and I went to the doctor’s and found that out and I haven’t slept at all.

  You know the worst part about it? Vincent hasn’t touched me sexually all week. I don’t know if it’s just because he finds me unattractive or what. Maybe he’s disgusted with me because I can’t have a baby too. Maybe he’s about to leave me for a woman that can produce a baby for him.

  “Savannah- do you know what time it fuckin’ is?” Johnny growled into the phone.

  I bit back my sarcastic remark of knowing how to tell time. “Yeah, I need some Xanax. Can you please get me some?”

  “Does Moretti know?”

  I roll my eyes and adjust my neck. “No. Does he have to?”

  “Listen, I don’t want to get fuckin’ killed over this. You sure?” I knew what he was implying and that was the fact that Vincent would flip out.

  “Please. I need to sleep.” I am almost in tears as I’m talking. I look over and see Vincent sleeping in the middle of the bed. I wish I could sleep next to him but I can’t sleep.

  Every time I do fall asleep, I always see babies.

  He grunts and growls. “Fine. Be there in twenty.” Johnny hangs up on me and I look over at Vincent again.

  His skin is so tanned and smooth. My mouth waters as I look at him. I know what I need to do.

  Without waking him up, I pull the covers down and feel giddy that he is naked. Aligning my mouth up with his dick, I stick it in my mouth. I pull and tug up and down as I suck him into my mouth.

  “Baby doll, stop…” Vincent is pushing my head away but I’m not ready to be stopped. To my horror, he doesn’t get hard as I continue to suck him.

  “Don’t you like me anymore?” I ask as I take my mouth away. He’s still limp and lying to the left. Am I that unattractive that he doesn’t even want me anymore?

  Vincent pushes his body up and looks at me. I can see in his eyes that he’s sad but I’m sad too. This is killing me and I know that it’s killing him too. “Of course. My lovely. I love you so much…”

  My eyes fill with tears and I look down and then at the clock. Johnny will be here soon. I run out of the room and down the stairs just as his car drives past. I look at the nondescript paper bag and pull out the Xanax. Finally, I will be able to sleep.

  Vincent

  There is a special place in hell for horrible fucking husbands and I’m on that list. Holy fuck. I couldn’t have sex with Savannah. I know for a fact that she feels the need to validate herself, but she means so much more to me.

  For the past week, she has moved around the house like a zombie and hasn’t been to work. Not to mention the fact that she is avoiding Anne and Ronnie along with baby LaVinia.

  Anne and Ronnie have both tried to get her to talk to them but I don’t think they understand what it feels like to know that your body can’t hold a baby. I hope Savannah doesn’t think that I want her any less.

  Looking at her eyes when I shut her down… let’s just say that I’m the worst husband in the fucking world. I didn’t want to push her too far and I didn’t want her to think that she’s obligated to do things like that.

  Sure, I love it when her delicious lips are wrapped around my dick. But wouldn’t she hate me if I made her swallow me?

  Savannah climbs out of the bed and stomps towards the closet. I can hear the hangers clashing and clanking as she yanks around in there. The fact that we’re not talking hangs in the middle of us and makes this worse.

  When she emerges, she’s dressed in a pair of sweatpants that are hanging off of her
body and a tee that is baggy as hell. “Where are you going, my lovely?”

  I can’t believe that she fucking just flinched in front of me. “No where. I’m getting out of bed since I’m disgusting.” She rolls her eyes at me and stomps out of the room.

  Ever have one of those mother fucking battles where your heart tells you to do something but your brain tells you something else? My pride is telling me to make her come to me but then my heart is telling me to go to her.

  God damnit.

  Savannah

  I just stomped away from my husband like I’m a five year old spoiled rotten princess who didn’t get a toy.

  Without thinking, I grab my car keys off of the table and hook the leash onto Cherub. We are going for a drive. I feel the need to leave my house before I kill someone. I can’t help but feel this way.

  The feeling of despair and resentment are washing over me and I can’t stand it. I literally feel as if I am not in control of my emotions at all. I feel as if I am detached from my body and I am watching me behave like a crazy person.

  I love Vincent more than I could ever explain and I know it’s not his fault. But I can’t help feeling like a disgusting leper.

  I haven’t been out this way in years and I feel guilty that I haven’t taken the chance to go and visit with my parents. It’s times like this that make me miss my parents and their wisdom. Every time I had a problem, my mother had a solution.

  Quickly, I parked my car and grabbed my barking dog’s leash. I led both of us out of the car and further into the cemetery. There wasn’t any cars parked where I parked so I’m not sure if I’m alone.

  For some reason, there is always an eery feel and silence with being here. It’s almost as if we are too scared to speak too loudly due to what could happen to us. Or something like that. I know I’m probably just insane, but it’s the way I feel when I come to these places.

  Cherub’s nose is to the ground and he is grunting happily while smelling the nicely manicured lawn. Whomever does grounds, they do a good job. Of course being here isn’t exactly pleasant, but it makes me feel better that my parents are resting in a well preserved place.

  We make our way to Joel’s tombstone and I stand in front of it. His stone is full of flowers and pictures of us when we were younger. I have no idea who’s sick idea this is to do this. I sure the fuck didn’t do it and it’s disgusting to see the pictures of when we were kids.

  I feel a strange amount of hate that is flooding through my body and I lose it. “Fuck you, Joel! You were supposed to be good to me! How dare you make me feel pain that you are dead.” I bend at the waist and start ripping the flowers that are planted around the grave up and start throwing them at his headstone. By the time I have stopped to catch my breath, my fingers are bleeding from gripping the stems so hard and there are no more flowers.

  A scream escapes my throat and I fall to my knees. I screamed for the death of Joel. The death of the baby that we would have had together. The death of our failed marriage and all of the emotions that came with it. I screamed for the loss of life that I have faced with my own self since knowing Joel.

  And worst of all, I screamed for the fact that I didn’t know where Vincent and I stood.

  It’s a pretty shitty thing to be mourning what could have been while I’m also trying to figure out what is going on with my marriage.

  Arms wrapped around me and I looked up with blurry eyes to see Anne. She held me as I cried and rubbed her hands up and down my back. “It’s okay, honey. I know you are hurting. You have every right to be hurting.”

  I cried harder into her shirt and she held me tighter. “Joel ruined everything.”

  She grips my shoulders and shakes me. “He didn’t ruin everything. These things happen and there is nothing you can do to change them. When the time comes, you will have your family. You and I both know that Vincent will do everything in his power to make you happy.”

  I nod into her shoulder and wince as I think about how awful I have been treating him.

  “I think you need to go home and put on something sexy and let his show you how much you mean to him.”

  “Thanks, Anne.”

  When I got home that morning, I dressed in a silky negligee and Vincent made love to me all morning. We both didn’t go to work since we spend the whole day touching and caressing each other. It was amazing. But we also didn’t talk. I don’t think words would have done any good this time. I think we both have said enough and it’s time to move on.

  I think about apologizing as I ride him. I think about telling him how much I love him while I hump his hips. I think all of this but I don’t say a word.

  Vincent

  I go to my window and pull back the blinds to see if that car is still there. This is the third night in a row that this silver Cadillac has been at the end of my driveway. Part of me wants to go over there and demand to know why they are watching my house, but I don’t.

  The truth is, I know that my time is almost up. Two of our associates have been arrested this month so far and all of their crimes are related to Joel and the Dice. Sal and I have been discussing putting a hit on one of them but it’s not progressing the way that I would have hoped.

  Sure enough, the silver car is still there and this time a man is standing outside of the car looking at my house.

  Quietly, I look over at Savannah and notice how peaceful she looks while sleeping. I’ve kept this away from her and made everyone be quiet about this. I don’t want this to touch her in anyway; she doesn’t need to be tainted.

  I make my way over to the bed and slide in next to her. Almost as if Savannah knows that I’m in bed now, she slides in closer to me and I wrap my arm around her waist. “My lovely, everything I do is for you. Please don’t hate me… I- I just- uh. Shit. I love you, baby doll.”

  The whole night, I cataloged everything about her. The wave of her hair, the rise of her nose. Even the heart shaped lips that are slightly open. Those lips are going to be the death of me. Not only are they perfect, but she fucking owns me with them. Whether there is a smile, frown, scowl, laugh, kisses… Everything about them has me tied up in knots.

  I hear Cherub make a groaning noise on the floor and I shift a little. Savannah makes a moaning noise at being jolted but she settles against me more. Our skin is completely touching but I don’t feel like I’m close enough.

  There’s a buzzing noise coming from my bedside table and I separate from Savannah to check. Once I’m no longer against her back, she pulls the blanket tighter and rolls into a ball.

  Krosilo: The feds just raided Sally’s place. Get everything out of your house now. It’s only a matter of time.

  Me: where the hell am i supposed to put it?

  I type angrily. Sally is what he calls Sal. That is a total random raid and there has to be some sort of a motive. Of what, I don’t have any idea. There has been a leak in the pipes of our administration and I haven’t had the chance to patch it up.

  Fuck! Where the hell am I supposed to stash all of these damn guns? I have an armory in my house full of different types of guns and weapons that could send me away for life. Fuck. Not just me but Savannah because she lives here, too.

  They would consider her to be an accessory. This is not going the right way! I should have let her go when I had the chance!

  Before I can start freaking out, I look at Savannah. Mother fucker. God damn it. This is all going to blow back on her. It’s only a matter of fucking time before something touches her that shouldn’t.

  Suddenly the hair on the back of my neck starts to rise. That’s probably what the car is here for! To case my house and check out my movements. Well, those fucking feds aren’t going to see shit because I’m moving everything into the safe room.

  I walk over to my dresser and start pulling out all of the unmarked bills that are residing there. There’s probably over sixty thousand dollars of unaccounted for bills. Money that I’m not being taxed on. Fuckers.

  Careful not
to wake up my wife, I reach under the dresser and slide the wood board out of the way. There’s only one spot in my bedroom that holds everything. Holds every single detail on and about the family. I hold onto it because that’s what Dad wanted. He wanted the secrets and the lives to be kept safe and no one would move my dresser.

  Once the board is free, I bend over to look at the combination. Once I have entered the combo, I open the door and reach into it. Quietly moving the dresser out of the way, which I have on these little movers for this exact situation, I’m about to look inside.

  “Vincent? Where did you go?”